So for 10 months out the 18 Tootles has been alive we (DH, myself & his amazing pedi) have been putting him through pure torture of monthly Synagis shots. These shots are to prevent RSV in preemies (not to mention $1300.00 per shot!!), its preventative not a complete vaccine. As proven this weekend. After our 10th and FINAL synagis shot Tootles started to show signs of a cold (the same symptoms of RSV)....I gave it until Monday before I panicked. Ok I lie.... I started panicking after the first chorus of coughing. So first thing Monday morning I call the dr. and a perk (ok perk isnt a great word to use but its all my illness stricken mind came up with.) of having a preemie is that I always get same day appointments, usually within the hour that I call. AND if a legit sick visit, we usually get a room upon entering the office. So we were able to get in, and as soon as our Super-Pedi listened to his little lungs, she immediately started a nebulizer treatment, and ordered a RSV test. That just sunk my heart....I felt so discouraged and helpless. This may seem a little dramatic- and you can think what you want...but its exactly how I felt. For 18 months, Ive excised myself, DH & Tootles from the world. I only (try to at least!) bring him to the store on Monday mornings, when there are like 4 people in there, and Ive cancelled (or not even scheduled) play dates in order to keep us healthy.
So needless to say it all went awry on Monday when the pedi called back with a big fat positive on the RSV. So we do our breathing treatments and Tootles has been in great spirits. BUT tonight he took a turn...to the dark side. He literally screamed his head off for 2 straight hours. I mean this kid has a running nose, a cough like no other & Im sure a sore throat- but scream he did! I started crying. I cry over everything yes, but this was a different kind of cry. I felt so defeated. I couldnt do anything to make this hurt go away for him. and I think this HAS to be the worst feeling for a parent. The helplessness that overcame me was out of this world. I love Tootles so much ( as everyparent should) and to see him already go through so much as a newborn/infant/child has taken me to my breaking point. This was just the cherry on my not so sweet sundae.
So heres hoping for a speedy recovery & a sunnier day tomorrow!
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