keep calm...and call your mom

So its been a few days...okay weeks. But after a bought of sickness (colds, RSV, flu), a surgery & enjoying the gorgeous pre-summer summer weather I set this on the back burner...hey a moms gotta live!!

So, Ive been laid up for the past few weeks...surgery sucks. I don't care who you are or what you're having done, anytime you have to "go under" its rough. Especially if you have an 18 month old who recently learned to say "momma" for reasons OTHER then needing something & just wanting to be held. It was a relatively hard decision to make, but we decided to have my tubes tied. I had an excruciatingly difficult pregnancy, and after over 5 specialist visits, we decided it was the best thing to do. I had pre-eclampsia at week 18 of my pregnancy, its common in week 30. I have one son and I'm only 28- so it was emotionally hard choice. But I love my life, my son, my husband and oh my life...and after hearing I had a 50/50 chance of surviving another pregnancy I figured it was time to make the right choice for US. So three mondays ago I went under...and boy did I go under. I had the most amazing dream....I lived on a deserted island alone, with unlimited popcorn & lemon ice water...& then I was in recovery with a nurse yelling at me to wake up...weird. Isnt there a nice code or something? Like "hey I feel bad that you just had the best dream of your life so Ill let you sleep a little long" code?? No? Hmm I must be mistaken....
And I found out just how AWESOME my sister & mother are. They came over every single night to clean my house, bathe Tootles, walk my furbaby, vaccumm, do my dishes...my mother even cleaned my kitchen floor on her hands and knees..... How do you pay that back?? It is amazing the amount of love family can have for each other.
And you can discount friends who are on their way to becoming family- my newest & dearest friend R was nothing short of spectacular...even bringing me a little pamper me gift & homemade cookies. She didnt even care that I wasnt showered or the fact that I had no bra on. What a doll!! Im sure it was freaky & I was a hot sticky mess but she was here for me, braless and all. And for that I love her!

People ARE good. I truly believe that and I hope that everyone has at least ONE genuine person in their life.

sappy enough??!!??

So my sister, the Occupational Therapist, the amazing auntie, the teacher of inappropriate things has taught my son how to wag his tail or "shake his tail feathers" and how to "jersey turnpike"...and boy does he LOVE to do those things. He will be playing trucks and then bend over, touch his feet and pump his butt up and down- I forsee bad dance moves in his future. And his newest favorite thing has become tantrums. He just loves them. Any chance he gets he just throws one. In front of family, strangers, just me, or sometimes by himself. There is no limit to his creativity when it comes to his tantrums. My favorite one has to be the time (two nights ago) he decided that 10 pm was too early to go to sleep. So he proceeded to throw all of his toys around the living room and walk between my sister and I smacking us in the legs & if he could reach-faces. It was a great time had by all...it was better then the circus & we had front row seats!!

$1300 x 10 = Why did we go through it again....

So for 10 months out the 18 Tootles has been alive we (DH, myself & his amazing pedi) have been putting him through pure torture of monthly Synagis shots. These shots are to prevent RSV in preemies (not to mention $1300.00 per shot!!), its preventative not a complete vaccine. As proven this weekend. After our 10th and FINAL synagis shot Tootles started to show signs of a cold (the same symptoms of RSV)....I gave it until Monday before I panicked. Ok I lie.... I started panicking after the first chorus of coughing. So first thing Monday morning I call the dr. and a perk (ok perk isnt a great word to use but its all my illness stricken mind came up with.) of having a preemie is that I always get same day appointments, usually within the hour that I call. AND if a legit sick visit, we usually get a room upon entering the office. So we were able to get in, and as soon as our Super-Pedi listened to his little lungs, she immediately started a nebulizer treatment, and ordered a RSV test. That just sunk my heart....I felt so discouraged and helpless. This may seem a little dramatic- and you can think what you want...but its exactly how I felt. For 18 months, Ive excised myself, DH & Tootles from the world. I only (try to at least!) bring him to the store on Monday mornings, when there are like 4 people in there, and Ive cancelled (or not even scheduled) play dates in order to keep us healthy.

So needless to say it all went awry on Monday when the pedi called back with a big fat positive on the RSV. So we do our breathing treatments and Tootles has been in great spirits. BUT tonight he took a turn...to the dark side. He literally screamed his head off for 2 straight hours. I mean this kid has a running nose, a cough like no other & Im sure a sore throat- but scream he did! I started crying. I cry over everything yes, but this was a different kind of cry. I felt so defeated. I couldnt do anything to make this hurt go away for him. and I think this HAS to be the worst feeling for a parent.  The helplessness that overcame me was out of this world. I love Tootles so much ( as everyparent should) and to see him already go through so much as a newborn/infant/child has taken me to my breaking point. This was just the cherry on my not so sweet sundae.

So heres hoping for a speedy recovery & a sunnier day tomorrow!

Donald, Close, Balloon

So Monday we had Tootles 18 month check up. And they had to repeat the 12 month test, because of his early arrival we have some difficulties to overcome. So far the only thing that is standing in our way is speech. So of course at the appointment I went on and on to the doctor how Tootles isnt saying anything but "daddy" (go figure!), googy (doggy), downe (a mix between down and done) and woof. And because I am a neurotic, I was panicking. Wellll naturally because all parents are liars, as soon as we got home Tootles started saying words. And lots of them. Hes saying cat, dog (apparently he had an epiphany with the letter d), close, Donald (donald duck of course) dall (ball...again with the d) and balloon. Hes killing me. I am OVER THE MOON proud that he is saying words...but Ill be damned. At home, with no medical professional (who will deem him SMARTER THEN THE AVERAGE PREEMIE) in sight. Luckily we have another go- around with our favorite pediatrician tomorrow for his last synagis shot. And heres hoping hes just chatting it up.

Anyway...the DH & I have been on the craziest crazy train ride with Tootles. He is totally out of control. The word NO is his kryptonite. Holy moly. I swear he hears it, and switch flips in the little head of his and he goes CRAZAY... like screaming like a banchee, throwing everything he can get his chubby hands on, and hitting. Oh the hitting. The other day he hit my mom in the face with a glow worm. You know those loveable little creatures that had a face that glowed ever so softly to help you fall asleep as a child. Well my beast uses that thing as a lethal weapon. yikes. Im sure fisher price would be really proud. So we try to divert instead of saying NO. It sounds like a lot of work...and it is. But its worth the crazy breakdowns every time he hits our poor little (giant) dog in the head with the swiffer.

Im hoping to jump of this runaway train anytime soon...because there is no Genevieve on here singing her hip hop tunes.