So I cannot believe that its been over a full year since Ive actually posted something. I have been keeping a "computer" diary during this lag but of course I have not published a thing.
During this year a plethora of amazing things & not so amazing things have happend in our lives. First thing is that I was offered a job at a local (non-skeezy) car dealership...in their office. This is the first job that Ive had post-partum and boy was I ready to goooo!! It has become something that I look forward to doing each day...and to say it was a life saver is the understatement of the year.
I have struggled so much with post-partum stuff that it was starting to take over my life.. It was a daily struggle to just SMILE! My life is NOT that terrible...I have an amazing support system in place that should be enough for anyone. But sometimes in life depression takes over and completely shuts that system out! Which is what happend to me. It is not something that I ever shied away from talking about. It is such a big part of my life that how could I? I was clinically diagnosed with post-partum depression and a mild case of PTSD. Yes PTSD...holy crap. No I am not a veteran of any "violent war" but I am a NICU Vet. And yes that is a real thing. So dont roll your eyes. :) Each and every day I shut out the real world and entered through the automatic doors of pure hell. I watched as my son, a fragile little bean fight with every fiber of his young & tiny being for his life. It was PURE HELL...and that it putting it lightly. And my DH and I would just sit and helplessly watch this every.single.day. And then as soon as he was placed in the NICU we were being ushered out in a mini processional of sorts out the front door and on the road home. Literally.
The bubble burst...
And it all hit me like a ton of bricks...
And now...almost 3 years later we have achieved some sort of normalcy... We moved into a new (BIG!) house that we are hoping to purchase in the near future. But for now we are enjoying the massive space & filling it with laughter and love.
Ive started taking my physical health way more seriously... Eating right, exercising on a regular basis. I find myself in such a great mood after the day is done its pretty impressive.. but that will be for another day...another post.
Keep Smiling!!
